Alright - first of all, I realize that photographers need to make a living, too, and that you can't expect them to work for peanuts. But on the flip side, I as a customer don't want to get gouged for one good photo. But you will be paid handsomely -- rest assured. Enough to pad your wallet while preserving your tenuous artistic integrity.

That being said. The idea is a 1950's theme for a Christmas card to our family and friends, who already know that we are two goofy sons of bitches who were made for each other. Boyfriend -- let's call him Gregory -- will be sitting in a chair smoking a pipe wearing a stately expression and some sort of tweed. Me (let's call me Mimi); I'll be standing proudly behind the chair with my hand resting delicately on the shoulder of my man, wearing a poofy 1950's house dress which I will produce. And the two fat tabby cats -- if they'll sit still -- will be wearing Christmas bows around their necks... only if we can't get them to wear little sailor suits instead.

We need one good photo, taken at your place or ours (if ours, then we'll have to find some kind of good chair and good backdrop that masks the fact that we live in a one bedroom apartment full of IKEA furniture), that we will mass produce as a Christmas card all on our own. And by "mass" produce, I mean make enough copies for family and all five of our friends.

Please contact me by email or by phone (703) 395-0768. And we both know my name's not Mimi, so just ask for Lottie.

• Location: Centreville, VA
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: Please provide quote